If you have a child who has school anxiety, the nerves can sometimes be normal, especially when school starts. It’s a good idea for you to soften things and comfort him, but you have to choose the right words. Therefore, do not miss these 5 phrases that you can tell each day.
Tell me your concerns, I hear you
If you feel that your child is stressed or worried, invite him to tell you about it. Children are comforted when they know they have adults to trust. Try to listen for real. Don’t feel pressured to launch solutions or rationalizations. The simple fact of listening shows children that we care.
You seem to be nervous about…
parents naturally want to solve their children’s problems. However, many of them omit a small detail that makes a big difference for children – validation. After hearing your child express himself, repeat the words to him. Paraphrase what you have understood and check the words.
How can I help?
Instead of jumping with an enthusiastic list of ideas, ask your child what they need. It may be that something small like accompanying her on the first day or preparing a special snack will make a difference.
Let’s make a list of all the things you want to happen
Noting all the positive aspects generates anticipation for the good things. No matter what your child is excited about, whether it’s about learning science or simply for Tuesday’s favorite hot lunch. Focusing on things that will make you happy will ease your worries.
Every school year is an opportunity for a new start!
Failures in the previous school year, whether academic or social, can put a stop to your child’s future expectations. However, children are very encouraged by the idea of a blank blackboard. Help him adopt the concept of starting over.
What NOT to tell an anxious child
While there are many ways to make your worried child have to be prepared for the new year, there are a few phrases you’ll want to avoid. Discouraging language can exacerbate our children’s concerns and break their trust. Never minimize a child’s fears or anxiety. Don’t say:
- There is nothing to fear
- You’ll be fine
- It’s not a big deal
Keep in mind that none of these phrases explicitly mocks your child, and they are usually all true. However, they undermine a child’s concerns. Children’s concerns are real to them and validating them is the most useful thing parents can do. If your child is still very nervous, this is normal. Continue to offer your support on an ongoing basis.
Instead, if you realize that those nerves go further and don’t allow him to make a normal life, then you’ll need to figure out exactly what is happening to make your child feel that way. Maybe he’s living conflict situations at school that require your help.