It’s almost certain that your child will be similar to you in many ways… it’s even possible that you realize now, when you see it. After all, your child is made up of 50% of you. It is quite possible that he has your natural love for music, your ability to spell, your gregarious nature and your inclination to furry when he doesn’t get away with it.
Moreover, sometimes can not
Most good and loving parents find it quite easy to cope with the strengths of their children, whether they share them or not. We often admire our children greatly for being more assertive, or better in mathematics…
However, dealing with other character traits we cannot identify with can be quite difficult, whether negative or simply different from us. There is no real empathy, as much as we want it to be. If you are prone to emotional outbursts, coping with a child who is furringed can be difficult, and vice versa.
Suppose your attitude to a challenge is to squeeze your jaw and face it straight ahead. But your son would prefer to crumble in tears. If you can not stand having a filling at the dentist, or you are completely overwhelmed by tonight’s task, you will just want to snuggle up in a corner and sobble. It can be irritating, especially because you have no idea why anyone would want to react that way. Well, your son probably doesn’t want to react that way either, it’s the only way he knows.
Let your kids do things their own way
It is crucial that we allow our children to do things their own way. If your child crumbles in the face of a difficult challenge, that’s fine. It doesn’t make him a bad person. You can’t expect me to respond otherwise just because you do it.
You might add, in this example, that people who fall apart in challenges have an advantage over the rest of us, even if they don’t seem so. They are often less motivated, but that can make them feel satisfied sooner. As they move through life, they will be able to give up difficult challenges quite easily, while the rest of us strive for something we can never achieve. So, a trait that may seem negative may be more positive than we think.
As parents, we are also wrong
As parents, we are often wrong simply not to think about it. If you, and maybe your partner too, has always faced challenges facing up, and maybe your other children too, it’s easy to expect from this child too, not realizing that he is asking too much.
And why does this matter? Because if you expect your children to do something they can’t, it will undermine their trust, which, can be very harmful in the long run. If you really think your child would be happier if he learned to better cope with challenges, you can teach him in a positive way, rather than setting expectations he can’t meet, at least yet…