Parenting is stressful and you can feel that you don’t stop a second all day, it’s more tired than being 8 hours working away from home! It’s often not like running a marathon, it’s like running until you die. Therefore, there is a natural tendency to look around when things are (finally) calm and think, “Nothing is burning. Okay, life is good to me.”
But this may be like standing in a coal mine ignoring the thousands of dead canaries. Usually emotions precede outbursts. Therefore, notice the emotions of the child early, and not only the resulting bad behavior, is critical.
Pay attention to emotional storms
“Do not behave bad” does not mean “do not disturb.” When a passive-aggressive spouse crosses his arms, frowns and says, “I’m fine,” at least you know that it’s definitely not right. Children may not even understand what they feel or how to express it better. Therefore, being attentive and early notice can avoid serious conflicts at home.
But the problem that many parents have here is to realize their own emotions. If a father or mother is not aware of his feelings and moods, he will have trouble realizing and relating to others.
For Parents feel what their children feel, they should be aware of emotions, first in themselves and then in their children… Emotional consciousness simply means that you recognize when you are feeling an emotion, you can identify your feelings, and you are sensitive to the presence of emotions in other people.
Do not be afraid to show emotions in front of your children. Even anger (provided that it is expressed respectfully and constructively) has its place in the family. If parents avoid showing feelings, then children can learn “Mom and Dad do not have these emotions and I should not.”
Talking about emotions and looking for solutions is much better than ever to consider this. Children need a role model not only for values, but also for feelings.
Do not hide your emotions
Those moms and dads can try to compensate for their fear of losing control by being “super parents”, hiding their emotions from their children… The irony is that by hiding their emotions, these parents may be raising young people who are even less able to manage negative emotionsof what they would have been if their parents had learned to let their feelings show themselves in a non-abusive way.
That’s because children grow up emotionally distant from their parents. In addition, children have a less role model to teach them how to handle difficult emotions effectively. Protecting children from emotional situations and then sending them to the world is like sending an athlete to the Olympics without training. Children need such moments to learn how to regulate their feelings.