Is it better to be brutally honest or occasionally to say a pious lie to avoid unnecessary discussions? Is honesty in a relationship as important as you think? To deepen the bond of love with your partner and stay more connected with each other, you must be totally honest. The more engaged you are, the more loving the relationship will be.
However, you can only have real honesty in a relationship if you are perfectly honest with yourself. Once you master that, you can build a stable relationship with the people around you.
Honesty in a relationship goes with mutual trust
If you find yourself looking for comfort outside the relationship and even dating someone else, the simple truth is that you are not happy with the relationship, you are disconnecting from it and, worse, you’re not being honest both with you and your partner. The challenging task here is to talk about what doesn’t work and see if you can fix it and progress in the relationship.
Your partner probably doesn’t realize there’s a problem and totally trusts you. Ask yourself how you would feel if you found out he’s cheating on you. However, in long-term relationships and marriage, the story is quite different. Love and commitment are more binding; the relationship is much more emotional because, naturally, as couples, they have developed trust and communication over time.
But if time and energy are spent outside the relationship with another person, this can only be considered as a cheeky deception and a lie. Being unfaithful is certainly dangerous as it causes pain and sadness. All the understanding that you and your partner have accumulated over the years does not make sense, there is no honesty in the relationship.
It will take a lot of work and courage to regain the honesty of the relationship once you have come this far. The problem with lying in a relationship is that it carries with it the burden of guilt; it prevents you from feeling good about yourself. If you really love someone, you need to be open and honest with him, these are the essential elements of honesty in a relationship. Any meaningful relationship must be based on trust.
Think also about how annoying and distressing it would be to find out that your partner has lied to you. Once mistrust is established in a relationship, communication dies.
It’s bad for your brain
A recent study, the first of its kind published by Nature Neuroscience showed some distressing news. He showed that telling consistent little lies desensitizes the brain and fosters big lies in the future. This study took place at University College London Experimental Psychology in 2016 showed that when the brain is desensitized, lying becomes easier and telling larger lies becomes easier.
According to Cognitive Science, as soon as you begin to lie, the nervous system begins to accumulate stress hormones called cortisol. High levels of cortisol over a long period cause stress and may set the stage for more serious mental health problems, such as depression and Alzheimer’s disease. It is better to stop telling lies and instead aim to accentuate everything positive in a healthy relationship.